Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
