Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize