gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
