Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
And then he peed in my hair
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