Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
