Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
