Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
3pm strippers are depressing
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
