So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
