Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
