Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
