I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
