if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
