And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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