I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
