I'm lost and stupid without you.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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