You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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