i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
