honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
