And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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