my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
it glows. i had to have it.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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