you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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