So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Alive.
So much puke
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
