I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
