also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
