so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
