The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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