Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(505): View more from New Mexico

And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.

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(909): View more from California

he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"

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(305): View more from Florida

I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."

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(517): View more from Michigan

Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair

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(778): View more from British Columbia

It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.

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(850): View more from Florida

It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.

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(314): View more from Missouri

When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.

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(415): View more from California

I want you inside me. Finish your papers.

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