really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Boobs speak an international language.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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