girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Also, beer. Big fan.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize