Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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