no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
