just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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