nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
