Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
it glows. i had to have it.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
