That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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