PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
