It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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