ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
