So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
