you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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