she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
