the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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