Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
