what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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