she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
