My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He better not be in your backpack
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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