god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
