I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
