whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize