She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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