Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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