Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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