Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
