Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
