It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
