is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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