We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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