the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
