i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
