Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
