Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
As shirtless as possible
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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