he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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