Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
