So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just want to make out with him forever
His nipple licking is glorious
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