Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
