areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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