Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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