Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
