i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
