im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize