when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
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