This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
where are you?
Hypothermia
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
