My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
